This dip is best served with chunks of Italian bread, or breadsticks. I have been known to eat it in a bowl with a spoon, however. This will go in your crock pot.

one brick of cream cheese

2 cans of pizza sauce. The normal sized cans. 16 ounces maybe?

2 cups shredded mozzarella

1 cup shredded parmesan (can be left out for those of you that don't like parmesan, ahem, D.)

a teaspoon of dried oregano

a teaspoon of dried basil

a teaspoon of dried parsley

salt

healthy shake of cayenne pepper

diced pepperoni, as much as you want

 

I put the pot part of the crock pot into the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes, just to get everything melty. Then I crock-potted it at low for 3 hours.

I had never had guacamole before Saturday. Mostly because it is green, and also because avocados are mushy and slimy and creepy. But the boy asked me to try and make some, so I dove in.

4 ripe avocados

a lime

4 serrano chili peppers

4 cloves garlic

about 1/2 of a red onion

fresh cilantro. Like maybe 1/2 a cup or so.

Peel the avodados. (EW. SO SLIMY.) Remove the pits. Mash them up in a bowl. Add the juice of a lime. Mash more. Chop your chili peppers after you de-seed them (BE CAREFUL. That oil gets under your nails and stays for days.) Chop your garlic and onions and cilantro. (I used a fun chopper for this. A food processor thingie.) Dump everything in the bowl. Mix. Chill. Eat.

This is one of my favorite snacks. If you eat too much it hurts your stomach. But it's so worth it.

2 packages oyster crackers

1/2 cup vegetable oil

package of Ranch dressing mix

teaspoon dill weed

healthy shake of garlic powder

Mix up all the stuff. Put the crackers in an oven-safe bowl. Drizzle the stuff over the crackers. Mix. Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes. Let cool. Eat.

I made these last night for my dad for Christmas. I don't like pecans (notice a theme here? I don't like nuts. Heh. I said nuts.) but they have been a hit before. And they are SO easy. I got this recipe from an issue of Real Simple magazine about 5 years ago.

 - pecans (the recipe recommends 5 cups. I just use a regular-sized bag. I don't know how many cups that is. Also, as an aside, what is the DEAL with the price of pecans these days? Holy balls, I spent about 7 bucks on a stupid bag of nuts!)

 - 3/4 cup granulated white sugar (in other words, normal sugar.)

 - 2 tablespoons curry powder

 - 1 tablespoon salt

 - one egg white

Heat your oven to 250. Roast the pecans for 10 minutes. Leave the oven on. Beat the egg white with one tablespoon of water. The directions say "till fluffy" but WTF? Mine never got fluffy. So I amend the recipe to say "beat till your hand gets tired." Then dump the pecans into the egg white and stir to cover. Then pour half the sugar and curry in, stir it all up, then pour the rest in, and the salt. Stir. Spread the nuts out on the baking sheet again, and bake for one hour.

I just made these for my dad for Christmas. Crap, I hope he doesn't read this regularly. I don't think he does. Let's hope he doesn't.  Anyway, this was really easy. I don't like almonds, but I made my boyfriend try them and he said they were good.

 - two cups almonds (whole)

 - 2 teaspoons canola oil

 - 1 tablespoon paprika

 - 1 teaspoon chili powder

 - 1 teaspoon cumin

 - 1 teaspoon garlic salt

 - dash of black pepper

 

First of all you roast the almonds in the oil on medium-low heat. I'll admit that somehow I accidentally used 3 tablespoons of oil. I don't know how that happened. It's too much. So then I had to dump a bunch out. So don't do that.

When the almonds are slightly browned (which was really hard to tell because..well....almonds are....brown.) then dump the spice over them. (oh, mix the spices beforehand). Shake it up.

That's it. I decided to use more cumin and chili powder. It turned out well. Like I said, I don't like almonds, but I could eat the spice mix with a spoon.

 

This is really easy and really freaking delicious.

2 cans Campbell's Nacho Cheese Soup (you can also use Southwestern Jack or whatever it's called, or just plain Cheddar Cheese soup.)

2 cans Hormel Hot No Beans Chili

Dump these things into your crackpot, and add liberal amounts of hot chili powder and red pepper flakes. Cook on high for about an hour or two. Eat with tortilla chips.

A few days ago, my parents donated a ten pound bag of potatoes to me. So today I decided to bake 10 of them so I would have them ready to take to work or ready for a light lunch or snack. It doesn't get much easier than this. Really. A monkey could do this. In fact, I've SEEN a monkey do this.

Wash the potatoes. Poke holes in them with a fork. (this also works as a fantastic way to get agression out. Be careful, though. If your potato turns into something that looks like has browns, and your face is red and your eyes are crossed and you're sweating, dude, call your therapist and leave the poor potatoes alone. )

Now rub your potatoes with olive oil, and then roll them in coarse salt.

Put them in the oven at 425 degrees for 45 minutes.

 

1 Cucumber sliced (or diced, up to you)
1 tomato diced
1 half bunch of celery diced
one long tall jar of green olives
one small can of sliced black olives
one half package of sliced pepperoni stacked and cut into quarters (thick deli slices of salami diced is really good too)
one cooked batch ofbroccoli (I've used both frozen and fresh and like it either way) cooked to soften and rinsed in cool water

Cook "spring" noodles until soft (al dente just doesn't work for me with this recipe) and rinse in cool water.  Add all ingredients along with a bottle of House Italian dressing.  Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.*I've also added shredded mozzerella or even stacked a bunch of swiss cheese and cut into cubes.  My favorite thing about this recipe is that you can customize it to your liking by adding or taking away ingredients and people think you've created some sort of magic. 

**This is a perfect left over dish because it gets better each hour it sits in the refrigerator. 

1 can drained pinto beans
1 can drained black eyed peas
1 can either regular corn or shoe peg corn - I am not sure what shoe peg corn is.
1 cup green peppers - finely chopped
1 cup celery - finely chopped
1 small onion, finely chopped
Marinade:
1/4 cup veg. oil
1 cup sugar/splenda
3/4 cup cider vinegar
1/2 tsp pepper (i never use this)

Boil marinade and let it cool.
Mix all ingredients and combine with marinade.
Let it all sit for at least 2 hours, overnight is better.
Drain excess liquid before serving.
Serve with Fritos Scoops and enjoy!

1 cup salsa
2 16 oz cans black beans, drained and rinsed (see modifications below)
2 cups chicken broth
 
Heat salsa in saucepan over med. heat, stirring frequently. 
Stir in beans and broth, heat to boiling.
Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 15 minutes.
Spoon/pour half of the mixture into a blender and puree it.
Return pureed soup to saucepan and heat through.
 
(I have found that my optimal combination of above ingredients is 5 - yes 5 - cans of beans, almost 1 can of broth and 2 cups of salsa.)  This is a quick yummy soup and we always eat it with a dollop of sour cream, some shredded mozzerella and crusty bread.