Hey-that's me! 07/29/2010
A thing is going around on the unschooling websites called "I'm That Mom"...and I couldn't resist joining in. (Because I'm that girl who can't resist making a list..and absolutely has to number it...and couldn't stop on an odd number) (and I'm also the blog user who sucks at making pretty links but here's the link to the collection of other "That Mom" posts... http://zombieprincess.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-that-mom.html) soo0....
3 Comments The subject has come up on a forum dedicated to homeschooling of whether I (as a homeschooler) receive a guilt trip for “copping out” instead of “fighting the system from within” Well, I guess my answer is plain: I’m not an activist, I’m just a mom who wants what she sees as being best for her children…who doesn’t really have the time to fight a losing battle. I have friends…not many of them…but I have friends. The reason I don’t have many people I consider “friends” is because of my expectations of the people who go from “people I know and chat with” to “friends”. One major thing I expect of my friends is the ability to remain open to ideas. Another major thing I expect is that they value knowledge in the same insatiable way that I do. They don’t have to love the same things as me-they don’t have to be interested in the books, music, movies and TV that I like…at least, that’s not what moves them from “people I chat with” to “friends”…while that common bond was probably there in the first place-it’s not an “essential” Like I said, though, I’m not an activist…but I have friends. And I love knowledge and they love knowledge. I like to share my knowledge as much as possible. While sometimes it may come off as showing off my lifestyle choice or pointing out the flaws of public education-the thing I mean behind it is-I want them to be as knowledgeable as possible when it comes to their children’s education….and maybe it’s because I felt I spent so many years in the dark-accepting Public Education as it was that I feel it’s my duty to open the eyes of the very small group of people that I consider “friends”…. It’s not my ultimate goal to turn these people into homeschoolers themselves, my only goal is to make them aware. Because we are all products of the same educational system, we all believe it’s infallible! But if by sending them random websites about how homework sucks I can allow them to go into their public school journey then I feel I’ve done my part. So-Friends…I know you are reading this….now you know why I send you random things about school sucking… And no, I do not feel guilty for not staying and fighting the good fight. Just as I don’t feel guilty for using disposable diapers… New Recipe (D) 07/08/2010
I added a new recipe today. I'm terrible at knowing how to make links look pretty. So here it is: http://qdm.weebly.com/6/post/2010/07/smore-krispies-d.html File Under: Phrases that I can't stand 06/17/2010
“Don’t you have something better to do with your time?” “Seems like someone has too much time on their hands!” Insert any phrase like that above…those phrases bug me sooo much! They are usually said after you’ve shown someone some craft that you made, or a tower you built with cards or a chalk mural or the crazy way that you’ve organized your books (alphabetical by publisher…color coded…whatever.) Point being-you will most likely hear this phrase afterspending your time doing something creative…or out of the box…or just plain different. I’ve heard the phrase my whole life…honestly I thinkit did shape my outlook on things a teensy bit…I tend not to spend hours creating a gum wrapper chain anymore…or if I do I keep it to myself. I don’t know where this mentality comes from…the one that says that if you aren’t spending 100% of your time doing something….um…productive?...then you shouldn’t be doing anything at all. Does this idea directly stem from “Idle hands are the devil’s playthings?” or is it strictly A-type personalities who think that if you aren’t behind a desk raising your blood level then you might as well be dead? I wish I had had a better come back for that phrase when I was young…something like “As a matter of fact, I have absolutely no time on my hands…when I’m done making a list of all of the animals I’ve ever met I have to jump right into gluing starburst wrappers down on the front of my journal.” …but alas, like many great comebacks…I didn’t think of them until years later. On being a New Unschooler 05/25/2010
My family has gone from public school, to home school to unschool all in the course of one year. One year ago today we were anxiously awaiting the end of another grueling school year for my daughters so that we could spend a family vacation in Disney World…in the blazing heat (hello? Florida? Summer? BRUTAL!). By the end of the summer we were sold on home-schooling and jumped in head first. We started with very eclectic random “curriculum” that I tried to design myself. I felt like I was 10 years old again and playing school with my little sister. I found great (and cheap) courses for my girls and my son officially started learning letters and numbers and such. Since we jumped in so quickly I was still learning about homeschool. Before we made the decision I thought there were two kinds of homeschools-the “School at Home” and “Unschool”. Little did I know that there were so many different ways of being a homeschool family! Charlotte Mason, Waldorf, mish-mash eclectic…the list goes on. I started studying each different style to look for the right fit for my family. I was happily eclectic during that time, buying and trying out different work books-spending hours finding online programs to supplement the activities they were learning and yet still not quite feeling “it”. For my birthday in early 2010 my sister gave me a $20 bill. I don’t know about you guys but if someone hands me money (and for some reason I already have a full tank of gas) I immediately start browsing Barnes and Noble’s book shelves (thank goodness for the internet!) I decided I wanted to read more about child-led learning. There wasn’t much to choose from at B&N-but since they were down the road and I had cash I pretty much had to go there. I picked up a book called “Successful Homeschool Family Handbook” and read it cover to cover that very night. While it had a lot of good points about childhood education it really wasn’t what I was looking for. I knew in the back of my head that I wanted to explore unschooling-but I also knew that I was scared to death of it. I was so used to structure-preparation-and well…guidelines! But a few days went by and we were getting ready to go to Disney World again…this time in February…this time during a school week when the park wouldn’t be so crowded!...I needed a book for the trip so I went back to B&N and bought “The Unschooling Handbook” and accidentally read it cover to cover that night. Something about that book…the ease of it…had me sold on unschooling and after a lengthy discussion with my husband we decided to give it a go. We went away for a week and came back and didn’t crack open the books. At first it felt like we were still on vacation-then after a bit it felt like we were doing something dreadfully wrong. I started panicking-my husband started feeling uneasy-and the kids had no idea what was going on. I don’t think either of the girls really understood the concept and I don’t know if we did so much either. We decided to go back to a really relaxed style of homeschooling and that lasted maybe about 2 weeks before we stopped trying. I spent my nights reading Sandradodd.com or joyfullyrejoycing.com or just re-reading my book. I looked at websites and read life-learning stories-became obsessed with unschooling blogs…and finally..finally I feel like I’ve come to the point where I feel relaxed enough to say that we are a family of unschoolers. We certainly are in what is described as “de-schooling”…and I’m challenging myself to say yes more often….we aren’t “Radical Unschoolers” but I kind of feel like that is the natural progression. Even if we simply stay “Academic Unschoolers” that will be fine. The changes I’ve seen in my children really make it all worth while. My youngest daughter and oldest son would bicker constantly-now it’s just every once in a while. Which is a huge step. They happily read about subjects that interest them (and would be approved by someone looking at the book to see if they are being educated) as much as they happily play their favorite video games. My son is learning so much more than “numbers” and “letters”…he’s learning …well…just about everything! Even the changes I’ve seen in myself are definitely a huge plus. I’m more relaxed. I’m not always trying to control the situation….I’ve learned to let go…I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned to ask myself why I’m saying “no” to a request- As far as eating goes…it kind of comes with everything else. My children do not sit around all day playing video games…at least not every day…but they can…if that’s what they want to do. They also don’t sit around all day eating donuts –even though if they really wanted to then they could. The options are there-but they are just that-options. We are a family of fruit lovers, broccoli is one of our favorite foods-and the kids actually complain if I put cheese on it! I used to think that “if left to their own devices my children would become Cheetos” and things like that-now I’m just amazed. They are left to their own devices-and they aren’t Cheetos! I seem to be over the initial panic…I’ve figured out what I need to know about portfolio evaluations and I’m able to focus more on providing my children with a nurturing environment rich with plenty to do. I’m seeing the worth in simple things, like cooking or making signs-just as much as I saw the worth in bookwork and times tables! I hope to never become someone who looks at other styles of homeschooling as being wrong. I know that each and every one of us is doing what we know works best for our families-and that we all see our families growing from it. I know that setting up a curriculum and/or giving tests, while it’s certainly not our thing, is valuable to other families. on learning...and thumbsucking (d) 05/04/2010
My oldest daughter was sucking her thumb in her ultra-sound. I’ve heard this being said by many different parents and usually have just said the typical “Aw” or whatever. But the other day I was thinking about education and I started thinking about how we are all born learning. When we come out of the womb we have two basic understandings…
Within a few minutes we also learn that if we breathe this funny not so wet stuff into our lungs and exhale really loudly we make noises. Soon we learn that we can make those noises and someone will pay attention to us. After a while we gain control over our muscles and learn things like smiling, and cooing and then crawling and walking. Every moment of a baby’s life is spent learning…and this never changes. Ever. But what I find incredibly fascinating is that even before birth we are learning. She was sucking her thumb in her ultra-sound. Which means that at some point in her few months in utero she managed to get her thumb into her mouth and thought “Now-hey! That feels pretty good!” She just learned how to comfort herself. She learned how to comfort herself prior to learning what her parents looked like, that she had a cat, that she would have green eyes or that she’d hate strawberries. I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~Eartha Kitt Ponderings following an overheard conversation while waiting for my Chinese food to be done…(D) 04/28/2010
The other day I was in the Chinese take-out restaurant wishing I had remembered either a book or an iPod while I waited 15 minutes for my food. I had neither, so I sat and stared off into space. A mom walked in with her two children and placed her order and they all sat down. They started talking-I don’t know, about video games or something-and at first I had high hopes for this overheard conversation. After all, the mom was openly talking about video games and not treating them like a waste of life/time/money that a lot of people do. But then….then the mom said “Your handwriting is atrocious” then looked at the boy and said “Really, you have to fix that” then the boy mumbled something that I couldn’t hear and she said “you know what? Zip it. If you don’t start writing better and bring up that grade then you will not get that video game” This gave me pause…a lot of it. First of all-“you know what? Zip it?” AAAAH! I wanted to scream at that one. Would she like someone to say that to her? Would she respect the person who did? Highly unlikely. But then she went on to say that if her son didn’t fix his handwriting and bring up that grade he wouldn’t get a video game…. Let me break that one down for you…her son-who was surely “taught” to use handwriting at an age when he was his fine motor skills were still developing (in my opinion, a silly time to learn how to write…) has messy handwriting…which pisses off his teacher…enough to give him a failing grade…a failing grade in handwriting!!!!! And if he didn’t stop writing messy he wasn’t getting a game that he wanted. That last sentence is probably the hardest one for other people to find fault in….so I’ll work my way to it. I have messy handwriting. It’s terrible. Sometimes I can’t read it myself. I was this boy-for the most part…the teacher would send things home saying my handwriting was messy and my mom would say “maybe you can work on that” and I’d say “….” (because I never really said much as a child) My handwriting has been messy since I started writing-and I never changed…if I care about how it looks then it looks great-if I don’t give a flying flip…well, then you can really tell. I have messy handwriting-I also play video games. What “lesson” is this child supposed to learn???? Is it the age-old “Life is unfair”or the “Mom knows best” or how about “Your handwriting doesn’t belong to you so long as you live under my roof I will control it and I will hold your passions over your head until you learn to figure it out for yourself”….I am kind of leaning towards the last one. I think our journey this year has taught me so many things…but one of the things that really seems to stand out….that I believe is valuable enough to want to pass on is this… The only life you are in control of is your own. Just because you gave birth to someone –it does not mean that you are in control of them. If you are saying “no” to a request-sit back and ask yourself why you are saying “No”…is it because you want to? is it because you don’t have time for the request? Is it because of some other arbitrary reason that really has nothing to do with anything anyway? If so-try saying “yes”…and if your child has messy handwriting-do you really care? And if you really do care…(um..why?) but if you really do care-don’t say “you better fix this” because that means jacksquat to anyone who hears it. Last year-in our old life-I fretted over my youngest daughter’s handwriting a lot. Telling her that she’d have to “fix” it and really doing nothing more than giving myself high blood pressure. But now I’ve stepped back from that…from being Arbitrary Mom…and guess what? My daughter now feels like caring about her handwriting and will take her time to make it pretty…when she wants it to be pretty…with out any input from me whatsoever. And either way? It’s all her handwriting-something she has created with her own hand. That’s all that matters to me. I'm glad I don't make promises about updating this thing! I would love to spend time writing a lengthy update telling you all about homeschooling adventures, M's new baby or anything else that has happened in our world lately but I just don't have that kind of time! Instead I'll give you a couple of bullet points: *The baby is cuuuuuuute! cute cute cute. Since I live about 3 billion light years away from E and M I've only seen pictures-But E has held him in her own hands and can confirm that he is indeed cute. *I've changed the way we homeschool about 19 times since we started 7 months ago. We are now what is considered "Eclectic" but we have some unschooling tendencies. I think. I'm still so lost in these terms. Did you know that there are people who tell you that you are doing it wrong and that if you use any sort of workbook whatsoever you are just a faker? I hate people. They can shove it. (My views on the world-wrapped up in a neat little bow..."People can shove it") *Christmas was good (Am I really saying that? Like anyone remembers Christmas-it's a whole new year!!) *I got a Cricut. And now I'm in love with that paper that most people (see above) use for scrapbooking but I will use for "Future art projects that do not involve making my photographs look cutsie" The end What are you doing today? (D) 12/07/2009
I wonder what everyone is up to today? E must be at work. I'm at work. M isn't at work though. I wonder what she's up to? I'll tell you what she's up to. She's having a flipping baby!!!! Woke up to the sound of pouring rain The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried, that called my name And when you needed me I came through I paint a picture of the days gone by When love went blind and you would make me see I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes So that I knew you were there for me Time after time you were there for me Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you We spend the summer with the top rolled down Wished ever after would be like this You said I love you babe, without a sound I said I'd give my life for just one kiss I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you We've had our share of hard times But that's the price we paid And through it all we kept the promise that we made I swear you'll never be lonely Woke up to the sound of pouring rain Washed away a dream of you But nothing else could ever take you away 'Cause you'll always be my dream come true Oh my darling, I love you Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you |
